On April 29, 2019, my friend Joni B. Cole and I made a pact. Beginning that Tuesday, we would meet weekly for 6 weeks to report progress on our individual writing projects. For me that meant completing a final, submissible draft of my novel Hawai‘i Calls. Her goal was to sustain momentum on a collection of personal essays.
“Always have a start and end date and ideally meet for six weeks only” is Joni’s advice to anyone forming a writing group or partnership. Experience has taught her that writing groups have natural expiration dates, beyond which they start to lose their value. So we agreed June 10, 2019 would be our end date.
We didn’t have to establish rules or protocols for our feedback process. Thanks to Joni’s books, Toxic Feedback and Good Naked: Reflections on How to Write More, Write Better, and Be Happier, and her many workshops I’ve attended over the past fifteen years, we were on the same page about the process. For the most part, we stuck to the rules. Our feedback focused first on what worked in a draft—anything from the overall emotional impact to the nitty gritty specifics such as an effective use of verbs or the way a particular detail (say, nunchucks or a cheap metal bracelet) captured an idea, person, moment, or place.
Constructive criticism followed the positive. We pointed out what wasn’t working for us as a reader—what confused us, took us out of the scene, might better serve another part of the essay, or was a missed opportunity for a compelling impact. Feedback did not include line or copy edits and we did not write comments on the page. In fact, we rarely saw one another’s work on the page. We read our pieces aloud during our meet-ups. While speculation on revisions was permitted, we did not tell one another how we “should” fix a problem area. We shared ideas, brainstormed together, and then the author sorted out what she thought would work best.
All this happened against a backdrop of mutual cheerleading. The days when I decided my work was stale and trite, Joni reminded me to set it aside until I could look with fresh eyes and maybe find a kernel of something worth developing. We gently nudged one another to set reachable weekly goals to keep us on task, and also offered abundant empathy when life blew up our good intentions.
In what may be the most valuable piece of this partnership, we shared our insights and feelings about the process itself. Writing can be a lonely pursuit and the mind prone to self-sabotaging monologues. Conversation with a sincere, seasoned, and compassionate writing partner can help ward off the demons and fire up the brain cells for creative work.
Today, it is March 6, 2021, two months shy of two years since Joni and I met at King Arthur’s Café in Norwich, Vermont, for the first of our weekly meetings. June 10, 2019 came and went without us noticing. We have managed over all this time to meet weekly either in person, by phone (thank you, pandemic), or through emails like the one Joni sent in August of 2019. “Even with our topsy turvy Tuesday meeting schedule, I now see Tuesdays as my motivation and my inspiration. A sanctuary day in a way, to protect my own writing. It's weird, just planning on meeting, even when we don't, helps.”
Though we broke our first rule about group expiration dates, I think the writing gods will forgive us. Joni’s original work-in-progress is now a masterful manuscript of complex, probing essays, all immediately recognizable as hers thanks to her distinctive narrative wit and brave authenticity. I hope to see Hawaii Calls published someday and I’ve resumed work on an earlier novel I abandoned when a narrative structure eluded me. Thanks to our partnership, we achieved our individual goals and are moving forward.
I’ve so many other writer friends to thank as well for their support and shared wisdom. They’ve commiserated, encouraged, and given hours of time and talent to close readings of my work. Thank yous to Lillian, Paula, Laura, Jeff, Hatsy, Doreen, Deb, Bev, Ina, Giavanna, Meg B, Meg N, Linda Lee, Colleen, Jessica, Gretchen, Jennifer, and Cynthia. Thank yous as well to fellow participants in workshops and classes, at the Vermont Studio Center and at the Green Mountain Writers’ Conferences.
If I don’t see my novel(s) published, I will be disappointed, but these writing associations and friendships have been more than a means to that end. Their value doesn’t rest on whether or not I someday hold a hard copy of my book. It’s a cliché, but I believe it to be true that the journey matters at least as much and, in this case, more than the destination.
If you are new to writing, I encourage you to find a writer or a group of writers with whom you can share your work safely. To that end, I recommend Joni’s book, Good Naked: Reflections on How to Write More, Write Better, and Be Happier, to help nurture your own writing practice and show you ways to be a positive support for other writers.